Sometimes the reason you start something isn’t the reason you continue.
I hated Computer Science #
I didn’t always want to be a computer scientist. For years, I hated Computer Science.
Then I met her.
She was a techie. A topper. I was struggling in the back. I wasn’t good at it, and I didn’t care—until I cared about staying beside her.
The First Step #
Our coaching teacher scheduled an exam on sequential circuits.
I didn’t understand any of it. But she was preparing for it.
I studied because she made me want to try. Not because I loved CS. Just because being near someone who matters to you makes you want to improve.
We both scored almost full marks.
For me, that meant something: Maybe I can actually do this.
The Progression #
After that came networking. Then C++. Then programming.
Somewhere along the way, the reason changed:
- First, I studied to stay beside her
- Then, to prove something to myself
- Finally, because I genuinely loved understanding how things worked
Sequential circuits → networking → C++ → software architecture → building reliable systems → the way I see everything.
I learned that something complicated can become understandable if you stay with it long enough. That shaped everything.
She Changed More Than My Career #
Her influence wasn’t just about Computer Science. She made me think differently about ambition, studying, building a career, and becoming capable. She pushed me to believe I could become someone very different.
Her presence made me want to improve.
Her discipline became something I admired.
Her ambition became something I wanted to match.
The Person Behind the Engineer #
When people see my work, they see systems. Code. Architecture.
But there was a time when none of that existed. Just a backbencher who hated CS and a person who loved technology.
I started learning because I wanted to stay beside her.
I continued because I discovered that I could.
And eventually, I fell in love with the world I once wanted nothing to do with.
Maybe I didn’t fall in love with Computer Science first. Maybe I fell in love with the possibility of becoming better.
She was simply the person who made me take the first step.
And that first step changed everything.
For me, she was:
- The first reason I opened a Computer Science book
- The reason I kept going when it was hard
- One of the people behind who I’m becoming
Life is beyond binary.